I moved to France from Hawaii when I was six. But the truth is, I didn’t fully grasp French culture until much later.

As a kid, I spent most of my time in school or with my American siblings and Belgian-American mom. Then I moved to the U.S. for high school, which felt just as foreign in a different way. It wasn’t until I came back to France at 21 — and started spending time in French homes, sharing long family meals, going on vacances, getting invited to weekends away — that I began to feel the rhythm of French life. And that’s when certain habits started to stick.

So what are these quiet cultural codes that wormed their way into my everyday life? Let’s start with the ones that surprised me most.

1. No snacking

Three meals. That’s it. Maybe a goûter if you’re a child.
I used to be a chronic grazer—protein bars, handfuls of almonds, “just a little something.” In France, that disappeared. Not because it’s forbidden, but because it’s not done. Meals are proper, filling, and satisfying. And in between? You let your body rest. It changed how I experience hunger (and satisfaction).

Want to dive deeper into the French approach to food? Read How to eat like a French woman next.

2. Getting dressed for the day—every day

Even if I’m not going anywhere. Even postpartum.
There’s something about the French instinct to pull yourself together—light makeup, real shoes, maybe a nice sweater—even if you’re just walking to the corner bakery. It’s not about impressing anyone. It’s about holding yourself with care.

3. Buying less, but better

No more 5-for-€30 Zara hauls.
It took me a while to unlearn the thrill of a good deal. But slowly, I started investing in pieces I actually wanted to wear long-term: one perfect blazer, the cashmere sweater that goes with everything, shoes that age well. And strangely, I spend less now than I used to.

4. Not apologizing for saying no

No, I can’t make it. No, I don’t want to.
There’s a quiet power in how French women decline. No over-explaining. No people-pleasing. It’s something I used to find cold. Now I find it elegant.

5. Dessert is always allowed—but not always finished

I can share. I can stop halfway. I can enjoy just a few bites.
This blew my mind: saying yes to the mousse au chocolat doesn’t mean eating all of it. There’s no guilt in ordering it. And no shame in leaving some behind.

6. Silence is fine

You don’t have to fill every pause.
French conversations allow space. People think before they speak. They let silence stretch for a beat or two—and no one panics. Once I stopped jumping to fill the void, I started actually listening.

7. The art of looking without staring

Curiosity without creepiness.
French women notice things. They’re observant. They clock shoes, bags, books on café tables. But it’s never too much. It’s quiet, internal, a cultivated gaze. And yes—it made me more curious, too.

8. Dressing for the weather, not the trend

Style, yes—but practical.
No stilettos on cobblestones. No linen dresses in the rain. French style, at its best, is about knowing what works that day—what’s appropriate for the weather, your plans, your mood. And then making it look good.

9. You can say what you mean

It’s not rude. It’s honest.
I used to soften every opinion with “I could be wrong, but…” or “Maybe it’s just me, but…” In France, disagreement isn’t a personal attack. Having a point of view is respected. Being direct is considered clear, not aggressive. It’s a different kind of communication—and I’m all for it.

10. Time is meant to be savored

Lunch is not a protein shake in a moving car.
This is maybe the deepest change. Meals are slow. Weekends are not for productivity. Even work, when it’s done well, is done within boundaries. I still struggle with this one—but it’s something I’m learning to protect.

Final Thoughts

None of these things happened overnight. And I still don’t live them all perfectly. But over the years, they’ve become part of how I move through the world — how I raise my kids, how I eat, how I shop, how I exist in public.

Maybe that’s the thing about French habits. They don’t demand transformation. They just… settle in.

Curious how French culture expresses itself in language, too?
Don’t miss 14 Funny French Expressions (And What They Actually Mean) — it’s one of my most shared posts, and a great way to laugh your way deeper into French quirks.