Paris may be the City of Light, but it’s also a city of unspoken codes. Beneath the charm and beauty lies a subtle system of social behavior—one that even seasoned travelers (and long-time expats) can trip over. From how to greet someone to when to speak, small missteps can change how you’re perceived.
Here are 10 faux pas that often go unmentioned in guidebooks, but matter deeply to Parisians:
1. Not Saying Bonjour (Or Saying It Too Late)
Mistake: Walking into a shop, restaurant, or bakery without greeting the staff.
Why it matters: In France, bonjour isn’t just polite—it’s a social contract. A proper greeting establishes mutual respect and acknowledgment. What to do instead: Say bonjour (or bonsoir in the evening) as soon as you walk in—not once you’ve made eye contact, not when you’re ready to order.
2. Assuming Everyone Speaks English
Mistake: Jumping into English without a French greeting or question.
Why it matters: French culture values linguistic effort. Even a simple Parlez-vous anglais ? softens the exchange. What to do instead: Learn and use a few key French phrases. A tiny bit of French goes a long way toward goodwill.
3. Being Too Enthusiastic Too Soon
Mistake: Over-sharing, smiling too much, being overly friendly.
Why it matters: French social warmth builds slowly. Immediate intimacy can come off as superficial or even intrusive.What to do instead: Mirror the other person’s tone and energy. Parisians warm up—just give them time.
4. Complimenting Strangers’ Clothes
Mistake: Gushing over someone’s outfit on the street or at a café.
Why it matters: In France, style is personal, almost private. Excessive admiration from strangers can feel performative or invasive. What to do instead: If you must, keep it low-key and sincere. Better yet, compliment their general style or taste if you’re in conversation.
5. Touching Market Produce Without Asking
Mistake: Grabbing peaches or tomatoes at an open-air market without permission.
Why it matters: Vendors take pride in their displays, and they’re often the ones who choose the best items for you. What to do instead: Ask first. A simple Je peux ? or Je voudrais deux tomates, s’il vous plaît shows respect for their craft.
6. Speaking Loudly in Public Spaces
Mistake: Chatting at full volume on the metro, in restaurants, or in line.
Why it matters: French public life favors discretion. Loudness can feel jarring and, to some, disrespectful. What to do instead: Keep your voice low, especially in enclosed spaces. Parisians will thank you with their eyes.
7. Tipping Like You’re in New York
Mistake: Assuming a 15–20% tip is required.
Why it matters: Service is included in French restaurant bills—but generous tips aren’t frowned upon. What to do instead: Round up or leave a few extra euros if the service was warm, especially in casual spots. It’s not expected, but it’s noticed—and appreciated.
8. Expecting Ice (and Customization)
Mistake: Asking for extra ice, salad dressing on the side, or soy milk in your noisette.
Why it matters: French menus reflect the chef’s vision. Excessive customization disrupts that relationship to food. What to do instead: Embrace what’s on offer. Exceptions exist, but restraint earns respect.
9. Forgetting to Say Goodbye
Mistake: Leaving a boutique or café without saying a word.
Why it matters: Just like the greeting, the au revoir seals the social exchange. Skipping it can seem cold. What to do instead: Say merci, au revoir before walking out. It’s two seconds that can change how you’re remembered.
10. Treating Paris Like a Movie Set
Mistake: Taking photos of people without asking, posing in front of boulangeries mid-service, blocking narrow sidewalks.
Why it matters: Paris is lived-in, not staged. Residents value their routines. What to do instead: Snap your photos—but be discreet, respectful, and aware of your surroundings.
The beauty of Paris is in the details. And many of those details are social.
Small gestures—like a well-timed bonjour, a discreet tone, or a brief au revoir on your way out—can shift your experience from tourist to initié.
You may never be mistaken for a Parisian. But you can be appreciated as someone who pays attention. And in this city, that’s its own kind of charm.
You may also like:
The Culture Shock of French Manners: What I Got Wrong (and Now Love)
10 Subtle French Habits That Improved My Life
For more reflections on French manners, social cues, and what they reveal about culture, you can find me writing weekly on Substack.
Leave a Reply